c a r v e d | a n g e l

5.4.03

my stupid ilayers look dumb, too. and i don't know how to fix them... grrrr.

| ranted by gish || 4/05/2003 07:31:00 PM || |

it's still ugly but i don't care.

| ranted by gish || 4/05/2003 06:53:00 PM || |

the scrollbar is green. it didn't show up that way at home, but i am horrified at how ugly it truly is. 0_0

| ranted by gish || 4/05/2003 06:52:00 PM || |

well, i'm in gainesville now. and i miss chris already. i think the worst part of being away from him is that i worry constantly, since i'm not there to take care of him. not that he needs it, of course. i just am under the impression that he does. ^_~ so, chris, if you're reading this, i miss you already. have fun at the party. (most parties seem to go on when i'm out of town.) ;_;

anyhoo, mum is making me try the atkins diet again. this is probably for the best. since i gained back the five pounds i lost on it... so i will try to tough it out, and hope that splenda isn't as toxic as everyone claims.

mum's asleep, and dad and julie are at church, so i'm on my own for a while. i need something to take my mind of chris, but britcoms aren't on for about another hour, i think. ah well.

love you, chris!!

| ranted by gish || 4/05/2003 06:48:00 PM || |

4.4.03

"Whenever I resolved to lose weight/be better informed/exercise more/be more sociable/keep my house cleaner/get a better job... my mood would take a nosedive."

i'm quoting that from a blog i like to read. it really struck a chord with me. it explains a lot. thanks scheherezhade. ^_^

basically, i really need to get over myself. i'll work on it.

| ranted by gish || 4/04/2003 02:41:00 PM || |

unbelievable.

i love my husband.

| ranted by gish || 4/04/2003 01:23:00 PM || |

3.4.03

what did he do to you?

stop this war now

(photo from http://www.aljazeera.net)

| ranted by gish || 4/03/2003 04:45:00 PM || |

grrr i'm pissed. my archives used to have my old backgrounds on them, and now they're all the current background. there doesn't seem to be a way to fix this.

[edit] okay, i seemed to have fixed the background problem, but now my archives aren't showing up at all anymore. :P also, sometimes the background on my current page is the same as my first archive. this is really annoying.

[edit] i say, very tentatively, that i have resolved the problem.

| ranted by gish || 4/03/2003 03:56:00 PM || |

my hair is now vampire red. ^_^ i looooove manic panic! hooray senor coconut!

| ranted by gish || 4/03/2003 01:28:00 PM || |

i added a link to my radio station. though it occasionally plays crap, i weeded it out pretty well, so it mostly plays songs i like. ^^ give it a listen, you might hear something you've never heard before...

| ranted by gish || 4/03/2003 11:05:00 AM || |

2.4.03

another silly media link up.

| ranted by gish || 4/02/2003 09:45:00 PM || |

dad's home! yay!

| ranted by gish || 4/02/2003 08:51:00 PM || |

i added the ability to comment. so say something! ^^

| ranted by gish || 4/02/2003 07:58:00 PM || |

god, i'm so annoyed. i've been reading the demon book for days now, and had a really good idea for a character. but, for some reason, you don't really choose what you look like in demon form. it's fucking annoying because you have this character in mind, and they need a certain lore for them to work properly. and what they look like depends on the lore. so instead of having a really cool character i came up with, i have to be what the stupid book says. and the way the demon looks doesn't fit my character at all. it's so stupid. i called chris to ask if i could keep my character as-is, but make up her appearance myself. and for once he decided to be a fricking rules-lawyer, and said i have to look like the thing in the book. :P it's not like i want her to be gorgeous or anything. in fact, i wanted her to be kind of plain in some ways, but instead she has to be this giant, iron thing with a booming voice. she's supposed to be kind of quiet, and, in some ways, introspective. like an inventor. but she has to look like iron fucking giant. with a deep, loud voice. the two ideas don't mesh at all. what's really stupid is that the malefactors are supposed to be like inventors, and they're almost timid in some ways. but they have to look like this?? how stupid is that? if you're going to go through a book describing something a certain way, then at least have the character look similar to their personality. malefactors don't just forge weapons, they do other things, too. and the path lore is plain useless. i don't even feel like working on the character now. what a fucking waste of time.

| ranted by gish || 4/02/2003 04:01:00 PM || |

chris hates my hair. i'll have to dye it red again asap. which, i think, will be in two weeks. in the meantime, i'll be in gainesville, so he won't have to see me. i'd do it sooner, but my hair could fall out or something.

i woke up at 6 this morning with this awful feeling, and i couldn't get back to sleep. my dad comes home today, and i wish he'd hurry up and get back so i can quit worrying about him. i don't think that's why i couldn't sleep, though. i hope not. but i feel like something bad might happen.

| ranted by gish || 4/02/2003 12:00:00 PM || |

1.4.03

my hair looks pretty good. it's certainly different... ^^ i'll put up a pic soon.

| ranted by gish || 4/01/2003 04:42:00 PM || |

i'm bleaching my hair blonde, which is my natural color. hopefully, it will come out okay. i haven't been blonde since i was 14. i'm bleaching it so manic panic will show up better. but i'll prolly leave it blonde while i'm visiting my parents, coz mum likes me that way. i intend to dye my hair purple for l5r tourneys, too. ^^ maybe i'll take a piccy and put it up if it looks okay...

won't this be a great april fool for chris? ^~

| ranted by gish || 4/01/2003 02:52:00 PM || |

31.3.03

yay!!!! i am such a goldberg mark, but i don't care. he's back! huzzah!

| ranted by gish || 3/31/2003 11:13:00 PM || |

This is so me.

Your Q Score is: 17
The Q score ideally should be as small as possible, indicating maximum agreement among elements. However, even a tiny Q score may not mean optimal functioning, since all four elements may in fact be relatively undeveloped.

Your Primary Mythical Creature
Water Types
The main strength of the Water types is feeling. The second element indicates the most probable focus for this emotional expression.

Mermaid
Water with Air

Astrologically associated with Pisces and the Twelfth House

Mermaid types are warm and caring in a passive, receptive way. They are given to daydreaming and to contemplation, a combination that can make them seem curiously absent and fey. They are among the most unworldly of all the types. Despite this they have a strong ability for clear, rational thinking that can be startling. They seem to have a deep, intuitive understanding of the oneness of the universe. They have a desire to help the world at large and are acutely aware of and sensitive to suffering. This is partly because they do not recognize the customary boundaries between people, other living things, time, space, this world and the Otherworld. They are frequently psychic. They can be brilliantly original and highly creative. They are usually regarded by others as benign eccentrics or as plain weird.

Your Shadow Creature
Fire Types
All the Fire types have problems relating to anger and aggression. The weakest element indicates the main focus of these problems.

Phoenix
Fire and Earth

This shadow is prone to a sense of stagnation due to lack of motivation and laziness. Nothing durable is ever produced. Practical activities may never be embarked upon. There is an underlying sense of futility and hopelessness. Disillusionment results from their lack of confidence that they can change anything for the better, and in any case they do not have the will. At the same time there is an underlying grandiosity and even megalomania reflected in their dreams and aspirations. They need to feel special. Instead, they may simply overindulge or neglect themselves physically. The biggest obstacle of weak Earth is to overcome self-centeredness and greed; the biggest obstacle of weak Fire is to overcome anger and aggression.

take the quiz.

| ranted by gish || 3/31/2003 08:42:00 PM || |

i centered my background, but i can't tell if i like it better this way or not...

| ranted by gish || 3/31/2003 08:01:00 PM || |

i'm finally actually making links to everything... content galore!

| ranted by gish || 3/31/2003 07:29:00 PM || |

spent the day reading demon: the fallen. and it is really interesting. as far as religious stuff goes, this makes more sense to me than most of the crap i hear on a regular basis. not that i'm one of those freaks that takes white wolf, literally, as gospel. (i mean, they actually warn you in the beginning of their books not to be a freak about their products. i.e. nothing in this book is real.) but it's interesting nonetheless. i look forward to finishing the book sometime this year, so i can actually start playing.

it's been so nice out, i wish i could've gone out more, than just on a walk this evening. if it's like this tomorrow, i will have to at least go out and have a coffee or something. i can't believe i spent practically the whole day in bed... i really just couldn't bring myself to get up and do anything today. so i read. i love reading, but this was too much inactivity, even for me... i was just trying to avoid a headache i guess. it wasn't terrible today, but i still feel like i hit my head. :P

well, i'm off to read some more. ^^

| ranted by gish || 3/31/2003 06:22:00 PM || |

i know i've been boring lately. :P this stupid headache is just killing me, and being on the computer seems to aggrivate it somewhat. chris says i should at least post creative things, but i haven't felt all that creative lately. i kinda sorta started working on a comic, but it's pretty stupid, and even if it weren't, i don't have a scanner or anything to put it up here.

hopefully, i'll still be going to gainesville this weekend. i don't know now if dad will feel like getting me, and chris refuses to drive both ways. it would be nice to have a change of scenery, though. i feel like i might break out of my rut and accomplish something if i could just get out once in a while. this stupid house just brings me down, and it feels like a prison sometimes. it was just clean on friday, and now it's back to being a hellhole again. it doesn't matter how much i do, it never looks any better. i'm sick of cleaning this place, and even more sick of looking at it all the time. i feel so unmotivated. :P

| ranted by gish || 3/31/2003 03:00:00 PM || |

30.3.03

my head won't stop hurting, and i'm soooo bored. what a bloody awful sunday... :P

| ranted by gish || 3/30/2003 02:16:00 PM || |

new background up, more lain goodness. ^^

| ranted by gish || 3/30/2003 12:52:00 PM || |

i started studying french last night. compared to japanese, it's really easy. of course, i'm studying out of a book, so i probably can't speak it worth crap, but the vocabulary isn't too bad. someday, when i'm done with school, if i live near a university, i will take language classes until i'm fluent. first, i'll take german again, then japanese, then french, then...? i don't know. i want to be learning a new language at all times. ^^ i don't know why i like language so much. it's just fun to me.

...........

| ranted by gish || 3/30/2003 12:45:00 PM || |

interesting link of the day:

http://www.angelfire.com/weird/junkyard/fortean.html

| ranted by gish || 3/30/2003 12:24:00 PM || |